Don’t pass the blame

All to often its easy to pass blame in our lives on someone else, usually its the ones closest to us. We say well my wife or my husband are the reason our marriage or life is is shambles. Were in some cases this maybe true in larger situations, like cheating or abuse, some of the small issues like silly arguments, or just flat out unhappiness maybe our own faults or sins.

We as people have to look into ourselves, find the weak points as individuals. While sure working on a marriage can take both people coming together, a lot can be said or done working on you. I can say I still learn more about me even after 13 years of marriage, one thing I have learned early on is if I am unhappy as an individual, that will defiantly show up in a marriage. One example I can think of that this unhappiness has shown up in my life would be when early on in my marriage when my wife and I first moved in together I was a neat freak. Everything had to have a place and it needed to be in that place. My wife on the other hand were yes she was neat and tidy but wasn’t overboard with it. Well as you can imagine me wanting everything in its place caused some unnecessary aggravation that was expressed usually in anger by me. I would say things like, man don’t you ever clean or dang I bust my butt all day at work and you cant even straighten the house. Not thinking of what the consequences were and the damage that this was doing to my wife inside. She felt as if she was a failure and would never be able to please me. When in fact these problems were mine.

Lets just say I am so grateful I am no longer that person. God stepped in and showed me just who I was and how my wife felt because of my actions. I had to come to my wife as a broken man ashamed of who I was and how I have acted, I had to admit to her that these problems were my own and I was forever in her debt for the way I had made her feel. I had to look with in myself and vow to never hurt her in this manner again. It is said in Ephesians a home should be a place were we show love one another and mutual submission is exhibited. So was I truly showing my wife the love she deserved, not at all, I was doing nothing but breaking her down. Thank God he has come in and showed me the errors of my ways, now when I think of cutting down my wife I stop and think is this showing my love toward my wife. This type of thinking can be used on both sides of the fence, a husband or a a wife should always try their best to show love and submission toward their spouse. We will not be perfect at this, the evil one (the devil) is going to put these thoughts of sin and anger in our minds, it is our job to say “not today devil” and strive to change these thought and talk to our spouse and try our best to show love in these types of situations.

I believe if we can do this we can start to make great changes in our lives and toward the ones that we love and care for the most. Also remember that working on ones self and changing our thoughts to love will not be the easiest thing to do so don’t be hard or down on yourself, ask for God to help you see the errors of your ways and help change them to love. Take one day at a time and move in the right direction.

If this passage has moved you to want to change who you are and better your life, I encourage you to sign up to be a member to receive premium content at There is no time to waste act now to allow God to take control of our lives and make the necessary changes in yourself to better your life, don’t let more and more time slip by, a brighter future for yourself maybe right in front of you take action now! I hope this may have helped and until next time God bless.

Published by Faith Born

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